The hard truth, however, is that to have your emotional needs met, you must have a partner that is willing to work through this issues with you. As much as you want to use emotional intelligence to connect with your partner, remember that it can also provide clarity and insight into a relationship that is not thriving. Mental and emotional well-being require that we have time and space enough to reflect on and learn from our experiences. Bearing in mind that what we do on a daily basis has a cumulative effect, we need to remember that intimacy needs to be frequent for relationships to prosper, and it also needs to be consistent in its message. 8 Signs you’re in a (healthy) Relationship with Someone who is Right for You. We can choose to work out an issue or walk away. The need to be heard Regardless of the topic, in order to feel appreciated and important to their partner, every individual needs to feel heard. to get two free reads: By creating an account you agree to Elephant's Terms and Privacy Policy. Using Emotional IQ to Strengthen Your Relationship. Other people, including our romantic partners, can say or do anything to us—but it is up to us how we respond or react to it. In order to feel fulfilled, we need to feel like we have the power to exist autonomously and direct our own lives. Additionally, addiction may be used to avoid closeness. If you score 3 or under, that need isn't being sufficiently met. It's time to be lovingly assertive about this. We're protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. William Barker is an English teacher and coach helping people deal with stress and learn more about themselves. An emotional affair generally starts innocently enough as a friendship. What is an emotional need? Either way, decisions are better made in regards to any situation when you pause and respond instead of impulsively reacting. You can imagine how effective that is in interpersonal relationships—especially romantic relationships. In order to empathize with someone, especially a romantic partner, you need to be able to connect with their emotions. However, empathy does not require that you completely understand your partner’s feelings—it means accepting and valuing how they feel and who they are. Look at the needs above. Understanding the importance of emotional intelligence in your relationship is a crucial aspect of experiencing a successful relationship. Play for free. I mentioned this before, but being able to pause and take a moment to stop and think before acting or speaking is a huge part of emotional intelligence and a crucial part of a healthy relationship. As humans, we seek emotional nourishment as much as food and water. Sex is a primal need for humans. heart articles you love. Why not join the Elephant community, become an Elephriend. I talk a lot about what you can do to increase your emotional intelligence in a relationship—but love works both ways. A woman’s four basic needs are security, affection, open communication, and leadership. (This is, of course, excluding biochemistry and genetic predisposition.) More sensitive people often require more time to fully digest the stimulation (or overstimulation) of the modern world. Maslow's research psychologists have identified nine specific emotional needs common to all people across cultures. Apart from being empathetic, you can easily tune in to your partner’s feelings by actively listening to them. We may just feel, blue, lonely, apathetic, irritable, angry, or tired. Through investing emotional energy and time with one another outside the marital relationship, the former platonic friendship can begin to form a strong emotional bond which hurts the intimacy of the spousal relationship. When it comes to meeting needs, communication and compromise are a necessity. When you meet his or her most important emotional needs, your spouse experiences a feeling of love for you. When you find yourself having a hard time focusing on what’s being said, ask your partner for clarification. Being able to assertively communicate also helps prevent you from bottling up issues—you are being open and honest about your feelings. to meet those needs. Emotional needs represent the middle tier of the 3 sets of personal needs: love, emotional, and human. If this emotional need isn't being met: Make a list of things in your environment that make you feel insecure or unsafe, and then identify action steps you can take to change that. If you have a physical relationship with a person you are emotionally attached to, it is bound to work its magic. For companionship Consequently, if there is high conflict, abuse, addiction, or infidelity, these emotional needs go unmet. Receiving attention from people we care about and giving them attention in return is valuable. Some examples of emotional needs might include feeling appreciated, feeling accomplished, feeling safe, or feeling part of a community. This might result in feelings ranging from a bad mood to stress, anxiety, or a feeling that something's just "off.". They can make the same choice as you to respond instead of react—even if you are the cause of the feelings that lead to this choice. Can you be the go-to guy for specific information or specialize in an area of your profession? Enroll today to join our upcoming live office hours. For instance, if someone is depressed after losing their job, it may be because they have lost status, autonomy, and possibly connection to others. Roxanna Namavar, D.O. It also allows us to connect deeply with other people by recognizing and respecting their emotions and developing empathy for them. Without a strong emotional connection, it … For example, we have the ability to build a rapport with others, to empathize, to connect with people; we have the imagination required to plan; and we have a rational mind. Remember to keep your relationship’s environment positive. When it comes to Emotional IQ, it makes you more aware of changes in the relationship—those shifts in the relationship dynamic that require either an effort to change something or the need to bail. Having emotional intelligence gives us the ability to make that choice with clarity. You are not responsible for the feelings your partner displays. 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